thinking

As I was walking home yesterday, I stopped and listened to the world around me. There was a steady stream of honks coming from passing motorists. Some of them wanted to offer me a ride, others just honk for the sake of honking. There is also a steady stream of people saying hello, or shouting, "you, you, you" at me. Or people are so shocked to see me, that they shout out, "farang - good morning." (farang = foreigner, and they always say good morning regardless of the time of day). While all of this was going on around me, I began to wonder... (to quote Carrie Bradshaw) what would happen if I were to wake up tomorrow morning and...



I was 5 inches shorter

I had narrower hips

I had a flatter chest

I was thinner

I had black, straight hair

I had dark brown eyes

I had darker skin

I could speak and understand Thai

I could try on any article of clothing and it would fit me



Basically, how would life be different if I wasn't a foreigner in a foreign land. It is so strange to be the odd one out. It is so strange to be noticed everywhere you go. Sometimes I just want to yell and people and tell them to stop staring - I'm just a human.



How would life in Thailand be different if I was the same as everyone else? I wouldn't get charged extra at the markets just because I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I wouldn't have my thoughts interrupted every 30 seconds as I walked down the street. I would have so many more people to spend time with because there wouldn't be a huge language barrier between us.



But I guess this is a new experience. I've lived for the past 25 years in a world where I blended in with the crowd. Maybe this is how foreigners back home feel. They can't express what they want to express or do what they want to do. Somehow I feel that Canada is more equipped for foreigners, but maybe that's not true. I wonder, what do foreigners in Canada feel like?

Everything is going well - I don't want anyone to worry. Perhaps I am just a little bit homesick. There - I admit it. I'm homesick. But I am happy to be exploring life in Thailand and the life of a teacher. Who knows how long either one will last, but I am learning more about myself and other people everyday. I am truly thankful to be here - but I would love to see a friendly face.